I've got a deep well of pent-up angst; it was easy to draw some of it up today and dish out some targeted antisocial behavior.

Being antisocial is most of the time an innocent result of being simple and distant, but on this occasion I just kinda felt like it was something that needed to be done. ..to prove what point exactly, I have no freakin idea, but it still felt good. ..not good enough to get it out of my mind, but good enough.

My well still keeps getting deeper though, so it's time to either:
A: keep using the bucket, or
B: stop-up the flow at the source.

hmmmmm. A.

"what?. you say she was over there just a second ago. ..,really. ..,I guess I just didn't notice. Oh well. ....,mmm this Dr. Pepper is good. I think I' shall go get another. ..,Yes, perhaps I should."

Acting in such a way really scares the nice side of drew, but for some reason it felt SO RIGHT.

Some interesting ideas from George Olsen in the latest ALA:

"Graphic artists" tend to be more artsy and to think exclusively in terms of aesthetics. "Graphic designers" tend to broaden their view to include form, and in fact may be more focused on that than on aesthetics. It's important to remember which type of designer you're dealing with.

Another:

Now when people learn, they tend to go through several stages. At the beginning, people aren't even aware of "The Rules" (or required steps) to accomplish something. As they develop their skills, they learn the rules, but tend to remain consciously aware of them and to stick to these rules. Finally, they reach expert status; they know the rules well enough that they don't consciously think about them - and have the confidence to bend or break the rules if needed.

I'd rather sit in the truck than go into the grocery store with matt.
Then there is the sensation of lightheaded sleepiness.
The heater in fact, is on ...
..or maybe it's just the CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING talking.
It was good to roll down the window.

Once in awhile I catch a really good Seinfeld re-run. A quote from tonights episode: ("The Fix Up")

George:"I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive."
Jerry:"So, hopelessness is the key?"
George:"It's my only hope"

Religiously, Communication Arts magazine is read every other month whenever the HSU library shelves the newest copy. The January/February 2001 issue has GOT to be one of the best in recent memory.

Design class was cancled this morning. So I finally got around to setting something up that I've been thinking about starting for a long time.

Ill-iterations (first in a series)

Hamster Thrown from Remote-Control Monster Truck

correction: $358.00

The food at the official Henderson State University cafeteria has never been great. ..,more like: always bad; very bad. It's nice that we've collectively decided to do something about it.
The site's creators of course, just happen to be upstanding members of my HSU Mr. T Fanclub. (Still working on the club handshake.)

This morning in Design II class, Julie gave me a photo she took of my weird blue hand.

2 more gallons of Dick Blick, and this idiot could've been on one of those Intel Blue Man Group commercials.
It's cool that she remembered to give me the photo though.

These events remind me of the pile of photos that need to be scanned for the grand photography page. It doesn't suck near as bad as it used to.

Adam gave me some insight on the webhost he uses for Sardonia. This pathetic geocities account with all it's limitations is out the door baby, out the door.
A big selling point: They've got a feature that I won't use often, but when it's needed, it's there; it's, friendly phone tech support baby! ;friendly phone tech support. Those words bring with them a deep sense of warm fuzzy love.

I'm an idiot. Most everything from Half.com is insanely cheap. HOW could I have not known about this?!

Sunday was great. Lots of people and lots afun. It's as if all the once isolated small circles of friends in my tangled social world are verging into a semi-solid pack of friends and opportunities. This summer on the lake is gearing up to be very different.

And it was learned that cousin Micheal got some kind of cool computer tech job for John Deer in Las Vegas,.. of all places. Yes, we'll have to "visit" Micheal.

When it rains it pours. ..Everyone part II

It's nice that my week has been abnormaly great. I guess these things come in waves. Next week must have something very misfortunate in mind for me. After all, Tuesday is the very important speeding ticket (beg the judge to keep it off my record or my insurance will triple) court date. 'We' will wear "poor guy" clothes and prepare sob story about flat broke struggling college kid who can't even afford gas money.

Things could get ugly.

Drew finally tries his hand at the high stakes game of internet auctions. Jason T. told me that everything over $700 that I make on the machine will go in my pocket....worth a try. The only problem: Jason smartly says: "E-bay is MY territory."

Voice in my head: 45 45 45 do I here 50 ..going once..twice...,SOLD...to the man in the blue dress.

It's comforting to find that I'm not the ONLY person getting screwed over at every turn.
These things are happening to everyone.

The best seat in the house for the MIR Re-entry:
mirreentry.com

"It will be the single largest celestial event on earth since the Tunguska meteorite struck the earth in Siberia in 1908. It is likely to be the single largest celestial event on earth until the International Space Station is deorbited in 2020 or 2030."

This morning I ran across a cool photo of a stop sign out in the middle of nowhere. It reminded me of a quote that I'd written down for the next quotepage update, so the two seem to go well together.

2am-10:30 am : nice deep sleep
11am - 1:30 pm : finish raking up stupid shingles
1:30pm - 2:30pm trash roundup, followed by weekly trek to the dump station.
2:30pm - 4:00pm put bike in truck and head towards Hot Springs. ..,watch collin wreck his truck in a parking lot. very funny. (it's always good to put a truck in park before you get out. And it's even better to push the brake instead of the gas when you jump back in your truck to stop it. bam

4:30 - 8:00pm : ride cool new trails around Crystal Springs. Lick wounds. Eat awsome pizza from Rod's Pizza Cellar.
9:00 - 12:00pm Help out at the Health club. Hot tub = good.

12:30 - 1:30am Mr T was on Conan O'brian. very very funny.
1:30 - 1:48am Check stupid hotmail.
1:48 - 1:50am do blogger thang.

1:51 : POST ; don't shower, did that at the gym ; ..sleep.

People like this make 0.02% of the internet an awsome place. Such skill. Such talent. Such grace. Such ..,I can't even think of any other good words. ..I'm a freakin retard. She's in Japan. I'm in Malvern. She's a designer. I'm a slacker with a student loan at a college that proudly claims to be "Arkansas only public liberal arts college". The journey hasn't even begun. We shall "get more better", in spite of pathetic beginnings. I know this to be true.

She says: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone."

It's funny how this week's spring break went from: Cool, we're going to Destin,
to:
Let's stay home and reroof the house week.
Something tells me that the newest release of "Girls gone Wild" has nothing to do with our old shingles.

...,note to self: it's alot easier to throw old shingles into the trailer than to pull them all out of the trailer. And only those who've done it can possibly understand this concept.

But all in all it will be a nice week, ..,Away from everything and everybody at school.

I don't care what happens tommorrow. We're goin riding.
The time for waiting around and wondering about it lasted WAY too long.
..,and yes, being rude sounds like a viable means to an end. very rude. I just don't know If I've got it in me to say the things that I feel like saying.
ok, yeah i do. That stuff I heard today was just too much to ignore.

The party was freakin rad; the best we've ever put on. Matt spent mad cash on party lighting and the people at Stageworks were great. It was cool to have the whole party (129 mp3's) on one cd-r, and the television stereo interface from the mp3-supporting dvd player was very phat.
It just PISSES ME OFF that such a rad party could leave so much of a bad taste in my mouth. ..,20 freakin miles away, at a good friends house. .., for whatever odd reason she chose to non-showup. I was even ok with the fact that we were just going to be friends...SUCH A WASTE of my last three weeks. Such a waste. This whole situation is making me pretty ticked off, and for some weird reason it's impossible to shrug it off and act like I don't care.
SO MANY misunderstandings and gossip on both sides, and SO MANY social hoops to jump through. Things could've been SO different if only a couple of small side issues were gone, and if people would quit curiously meddling with my fading social life.
The final take: A bridge has been burned that never should have been built in the first place, and many lessons have been learned, but there's still the issue of this lingering BAD TASTE in my mouth. Perhaps we should brush.
ahhhhhhhggg! ..,I HATE this. ..,screw it all.
"This time I'm'a let it all hang out; This time I'm'a stand up and shout. Gonna do things my way; it's my way; my way or the highway."
That song sounds better every day.

This blog feature is quickly being transformed from a stupid personal journal into an interactive trash-talking script.
oh yeah.

bring it.

Finally, an mp3 laptop powered party. Stuff and tings will be done on a grand scale.
Just downloaded James Brown "Hot Pants". Oh yes, it be very good.

Laci, Saturday at 5 in Malvern. Drive up and be prepared to "kick it oldschool."

Whoever shows up at this one will be talking about it for awhile. well maybe.

I find it odd that whenever I'm most deeply focused or moved/worried about something, I seem to have less and less of a capacity to talk or write about "it", or anything else for that matter. It's like my mind has a way of concentrating SO hard on a situation that I wish I controlled, but don't. Stupid brain. Why don't you ever work when you NEED to. I wish things were different.
It's just that sometimes there is nothing going on at all that is worth caring about or telling about, other than the obvious all-important singular dilema at hand; which of course I don't want to talk about.

uncontrollable, deep, preoccupation. ..,silence

It's pretty cold tonight. Building fires in the two woodstoves is getting old; and all the dry wood was used up around a month ago, so starting a fire with green wood takes twice the effort. Stupid fire. I will MAKE you burn. All the stores overstocked on the fire starterlogs during the ice storm, and walmart is practically giving them away. Those things are designed to engulf in flames if they come anywhere near a flame. ..,if only everything were so easy. This starterlog brags of the fact that it even "SOUNDS like real wood". wow. And of course, what starterlog would be complete without it's own website
Some choice quotes from the starterlog literary masterpiece:
"Hear the difference throughout the burn!"
"Additionally, we offer Crackling HearthLogg® in popular sizes with two hour and three hour burn times to suit your lifestyle."
Yeah, I've always had this strange inherent notion that MY lifestyle required a Hearthlogg with a "three hour burn". I can see the yuppies at Target right now: "No honey, we've got to get THIS one."

1 box of Golden Grahams: $5.00
1 gallon of 2% milk: $3.00
Sitting down with mom and watching Arkansas beat LSU: Priceless

"We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it." -George Bernard Shaw

It seems that a revolution of sorts is taking place with CSS. Riding the back of the wave as usual, I'm just now getting used to using style sheets for typography. Soon though, table-based code will be a thing of the past.
Some very curious people are in the developing stages of using CSS effectively for layouts that WORK in all standards-based browsers.

"And then there is the second way, the Holy Grail of web standards: separating style from content, using structural markup for data, and CSS for all aspects of visual layout control"

Now this is quality entertainment
The last time I was this excited about a weekly tv show was in the hayday of Seinfeld, sometime around the "TV Guide" and "Marine Biologist" episodes.

Seeing how we don't have cable anymore, I'll just have to go over to Matts every sunday to take in each new episode. Never before has arrested development looked like so much fun.

If the people at National Geographic Adventure magazine ever wrote an article about me, it would look something like:

this

So it seems that my brother Jason has "delved deeper" into the underworld of country music. He and Ginger skip town saturday and drive 6 hours to Nashville. Later I'm informed of his going to the Grand Ole Opry and the gay time had by all. Jason is deep, too deep for recovery.
I am too.
I owe Jason a meal. Enroute to Don Juan's Mexican Delights, I learn that Jason has just purchased the Johny Cash Super Hits album.....the VERY SAME ALBUM I bought yesterday.
Life is getting weird. ..beyond the normal weird and into something almost scary.
help.
sidenote: Jason and I recommend:
. "A Boy Named Sue"
"One Piece At A Time" .....,thank you and goodnight nashville.

whoa.

..adding Harrumph to the weblog links. Very cool gifted lady.

Forget the B/W photo paper, I'll go ahead and preorder Zeldman's book
been meaning to do that.
It's been awhile since I've actually purchased a book, but this time it's worth it. Any web design library will be incomplete without this one.

Cool! I finally got my $50 prize money in the mail from the student art show.
Oh yes, the money to buy that box of B/W photo paper....cool things will be done.
Two of my "pieces" made it into the 20 piece show, and it was certainly a big surprise to actually WIN something on top of that.
I never win. EVER, at anything, so it was nice.

It was a framed photo of some nasty urban sprawl, with a quote from Alan Kunstler's book :The Geography of Nowhere scripted underneath.

The other piece that shouldn't have even made it into the show, but DID, was something I spit out two years ago just for kicks.
here it is

I guess shock value is sometimes valued even more than skilled artistic ability. Some of the paintings that didn't even make it into the show were VERY good.

"Web Designer wanted:
Must have skills with Photoshop, Quark, Acrobat, Illustrator, 3D Studio and Fireworks. Minimum of 2 years experience and able to work in a fast paced environment."

Sounded like a good fit. I read on:

"Must also have programming skills in HTML, JavaScript and Perl"
Okay, I could probably swing that.

"Experience working with Oracle and JSP ... must be able to administrate IIS and NT Enterprise Server...."
Wait a second. Was this the same job description? Had I skipped over something? Was it a misprint? Nope, it in fact was the same job description. Maybe they should have used the heading, "Renaissance Person wanted."

I'm sure they'll find a good "jack of all trades and master of none" person before too long. And he'll no doubt be an important member of yet another mediocre team.